Container Gardening Exploits

Every six to twelve months there is something new that I just have to learn. Right now, it's vegetable container gardening. Back in March I had a bevy of seedlings taking up space in my kitchen. The survivors have now been transplanted outside.

Two gardening "aids" captured my attention and I obsessed about them for about a month. Self-watering planters and the Wall-O-Water season extender. These are by no means essentials to gardening, but I'm a sucker for better mousetrap technology. And because my husband gets annoyed when I spend a ton of cash on my little hobbies, I tried to duplicate these little wonders on the cheap.

Self-watering Planter

Container grown vegetables tend to require a lot of watering so the idea of a self-watering planter sounds genius. I even read a book about these and I am really curious to see if it will work for me. I found some 19-gallon tubs for $8/each and set about trying to make them semi-attractive and self-watering. As far as the attractive part goes, a little direct-to-plastic paint helped.

The self-watering part is tricky because I want to minimize the number of parts involved. There are a handful of building plans on the web, but most include a lot of parts. I narrowed down to the following essential elements: soil aeration tray, wick and a fill/overflow hole.

Soil Aeration Tray

This holds the potting soil above the water reservoir. I bought large plastic, terra cotta colored planter trays (20" diameter) and drilled a bunch of holes in the base. I cut a space for the wick in the center and then attached the inverted tray to the inside of the tub using zip ties.

Wick

This is how the water will be distributed from the bottom of the container to the rest of the soil. I combined two methods that I read about -- a soil chamber and capillary wicking fabric strips. The soil chamber is a mesh basket attached to the soil tray with more zip ties. I also threaded a capillary strip down from the soil tray through the mesh basket.

Fill & Overflow Hole

Just as the name suggests this hole on the outside of the tub is dual purpose: used to fill the water reservoir and to allow any extra water to drain back out. I used a small hole saw to make the hole just below the level of the soil tray. (I've always wanted an excuse to use a hole saw.)

My neighbor/friend, John, has already stifled laughter at my contraption. He's an accomplished gardener but I'm holding my chin up. My motto with this container garden thing: I can always hide or discard the evidence if things don't work out.

Homemade Wall-O-Water

Another interesting season extending idea: use water to trap sun's energy to protect plants from cool temps and frost. But I'm not about to pay for something that looks about as sophisticated as recycled packaging material (visualize the air packs Barnes & Noble uses). I read about people using recycled 2-liter soda bottles to mimic this design but talk about big and ugly!

Small and ugly would be much better so I used my FoodSaver to create water chambers in a regular gallon-size zipper bag. I used these during the hardening off period but didn't really think they were that great. Glad I didn't buy the real thing.

Rarely "Reality" TV

The so-called reality television shows are such sorry excuses for creativity. I’ll concede that the first few seasons of the “big ones” were pretty ingenious (e.g. Survivor, The Office, American Idol) but the continuous need to one-up themselves has resulted in over-produced shows. Thus making the phrase “reality television” completely ridiculous.

This week, I happened upon episodes of “Wife Swap” and “The Tool Academy.” I initially turned the channel both times, but went back out of curiosity. The participants were so transparent in their efforts to be outrageous and create conflict that I could not believe anybody would watch this junk religiously. Or worse, waste DVR space for these shows.

(And this from a girl who honestly liked to watch Baywatch in college. Who can argue with non-stop sunshine and problems that are always solved in an hour? I never said I was against bad, unrealistic or even formulaic TV, but at least Baywatch didn't claim to be reality.)

Just turn the channel you say? No problem, I much prefer music or even silence in my free time these days. But I’m on my soap box because I have recently witnessed some of the backlash that reality show participants face with increasing regularity. I know the mother of one such participant who recently had her life turned up-side down. Oh, the details were outrageous!

But this gal is a tough cookie and was quite aware of the dysfunctional world she was stepping into. She’ll have no problem bouncing back.

But I couldn’t help feeling baffled at the very unprofessional manner employed by the producers. Text messages at midnight to communicate, update and then contradict themselves? It reeked of disorganization and amateuritty. (No, ameteuritty is not a word, but I’m lobbying for creativity so bear with me.)

Stepping back for a moment, I’m no idiot. These producers are not stupid because it clearly works. People tune in. And people like it. The production company is getting their job done and everybody’s got to earn a living. So who am I to judge people for making the shows or for watching them, right? No problem, I can let them off the hook.

But I have been so disappointed by the peanut gallery of asshats that misrepresent and abuse the dignity of these contestants through fake websites and slanderous gossip. Talk about zero creativity.

Other things disappoint me too, but they unfortunately go along with the territory of putting yourself out there in the public eye. I’m not naïve enough to think that everybody recognizes what I think of as “standards” in life, not to mention the basic rules of civility, but I do believe that they just can’t be happy people.

Sucks to be them I guess! Anybody want to join me for an episode of Nip/Tuck?

Go Green

Last fall a good friend of mine inspired me to seek out more earth-friendly household products. I'm not die-hard about going green, but why not? (Clearly, I am easily entertained. And, as previously disclosed, I delight in any activity that I can turn into a spreadsheet opportunity.)

I am pretty brand loyal so my criteria for new products shouldn't be a surprise:

1. they had to work as well as my favorites; and
2. they had to be as cost-efficient as my favorites.

Tall order? Keep reading.

What to buy and where to shop

Convenience is king in my world, so the first thing I did was search online for basic information and green products. At first I looked for specific ingredients to avoid but learned that manufacturers of household cleaners are not required to list ALL their ingredients except those ingredients that are active disinfectants and those that are known to be potentially hazardous.

To narrow the field, any product I tried had to be a concentrated formula and free of dyes, fragrances and bleach. Furthermore, companies that touted what was NOT in their products (namely phosphates and chlorine) were given priority. My favorite screening site is GoodGuide.com. In addition to rating the product and highlighting harzardous ingredients, they report which third-party certifications the product has earned.

And while I love having things shipped directly to my front door, it presents some problems in this instance. Shipping charges make the product less cost-effective. But more importantly, buying locally is infinitely more green than the effort and resources it takes to pack, ship and deliver. For example, the cardboard box, bubble wrap, address label, shipping fees and most importantly the gasoline required to get the product to the door are eliminated if I buy the product at a local store that I already frequent.

The greenest of the green households use homemade cleaners from simple ingredients. (A simple google search yields a bevy of recipes, tips and instructions.) This doesn't appeal to me so I continued my search in a local co-op grocery store that specializes in organic and natural products.

Picking My Battles

After crunching numbers and comparing price-per-load data on several automatic dishwasher detergents, I decided to try the cheapest one first. It met all the requirements and the manufacturer has an in-store refill station. Big green bonus. Unfortunately this brand just couldn't unstick the peanut butter from the knives so it had to go. I have temporarily reverted to my big name, not so green detergent.

My favorite new product is an earth-friendly concentrated general cleaner. I can create different strength solutions depending on what needs to be cleaned. I use it most frequently to clean the kitchen counters but it does floors and laundry stains too.

The Big Lesson

I realize this whole experiment is a little obsessive, but it did force me to think about what constitutes clean. All those years of television advertisements showing raw poultry being rubbed on kitchen surfaces had brainwashed me to think that countertops need to be disinfected eight times a day. Well, a damp washcloth is all it takes to clean up toast and cracker crumbs. So my green resolution is to use cleaning products only when truly needed.

Oh, and clean doesn't have to smell like harsh chemicals. My environmentally friendly general cleaner has a super zesty fragrance. I have even found a soy-based toilet cleaner that works great and smells like peppermint. Hmmmm, now that's nice.

Carpal Tunnel Surgery

I can't resist posting this pic despite having already posted it on FaceBook.

So many people have asked me, "How did you get carpal tunnel?" Well, since I am taking a hiatus from paid employment, I rarely do anything repetitive (with the exception of verbal repetition about sharing, being polite and all other things motherly). And I have learned that many cases of carpal tunnel syndrome are in fact genetic. Even people whose jobs require repetitive motion often have a genetic tendency. Add that to the list of things I can blame on my parents.

The actual carpal tunnel open release surgery was interesting (due in part to the lovely valium). The tingling and numbness were relieved immediately but the incision site is painful. My surgeon refuses to do the surgery laparoscopically -- she has seen nerves severed during the procedure -- so the incision is about an inch long.

Honestly, the part I disliked about this whole saga was people telling me that it wasn't a big deal. I realize they were trying to ease my concerns but it felt dismissive.

Hand therapy yesterday was a joke, but the therapist was really intense about reps and sets. Eye contact with her was painful. My thenar muscle (at base of thumb) is so weak it was quivering! It gave me the giggles. The therapist gave me a courtesy laugh and then started the staring contest again. Meanwhile, it has been a drag to limit the use of my right hand when I'm with the kids but I've been told that the more I baby this wrist the quicker my recovery.

My left wrist feels brand new after the cortisone shot I received (same day as right hand surgery). Too bad it's not permanent. Curiously enough, the strengthening exercises prescribed for my right hand are forbidden for the left hand (although the range of motion exercises are approved for both). All I care about is starting golf league on time.

I Think Really Loud

I was probably four-years old the first time my mom asked me, "Did you say something, babe?"

I was sitting smack in the middle of the back seat of what I think was an over sized Oldsmobile sedan with my arms propped up on the seats in front of me when I realized that I might have been thinking out loud. It happens all the time and I used to wonder if I was just thinking really, really loudly. Now I'm pretty sure that my facial expressions are really to blame. I have no poker face.

I tried to name this blog ThinkingTooLoud but it was already taken. Dennis in Canada is not doing the theme justice. All the variants I tried were taken as well. So now I'm stuck with SarcasmScaresMe. But it's true, I don't always catch sarcastic jokes and when I do I just don't know how to react. I've tried sarcasm in an attempt to be funny and I just end up feeling negative and mean. (I think it's a pretty lazy attempt at humor anyway.) So while I'm terribly gullible I like to think of myself as having a "straightforward" sense of humor. Hey, it's all in the spin.

Why did I start a blog? Curiosity. I was reading a friend's blog and wondered why someone would go to all the trouble. So I googled. And now I'm curious.